It's been a tough, exciting, stressful and emotional year for me. But I'm happy that it is over and I have discovered new things, experienced new experiences and also met new friends that I can relate myself with. Something to look forward to I guess :)
Now time for some self relfection. I'd admit, I'm not those who are fixated on one thing and I'd just instantly call it 'my identity or my style'. I like to try everything and anything before deciding what I want to be or how I want others to view me. In 2013, I went all out. Shisha-ed to the max (almost daily within the first three months), went clubbing (at least once a month), skipped classes for work and even tried smoking cigarettes and cigars on the same day! *dont tell my parents!* Crazy, I know. But at the end of the year, I'm not exactly happy or satisfied or proud of myself. I mean, yeah, doing all these once in a while is fun and thrilling, but...somehow, it just ain't me. I guess that rebellious phase is over and I'm back to your ordinary I-rather-read-a-storybook girl (which isn't all that bad!:p). I feel like I miss a lot of my past. I miss dancing, I miss painting, I miss watching cartoons on weekends and visiting my grandparents and shopping with my sisters. And sometimes it gets pretty depressing and lonesome because I'm usually home alone. Well, this year, I made a list of rational achievable resolutions. lol. I won't name them all here but there are exactly 20 items on the list. To resolve whatever I encountered of felt in 2013, I'm going make BIG changes. Visiting my godmother up in Penang and my father in Sabah is definitely one of them. I don't have the best relationship with them, but I'M GOING TO JUST DO IT. Also, I want to be fit, and I mean it. All my life I've been battling with this 'I'M SO FAT' notion that it drives me and everyone around me crazy. Ugh. Getting rid of that mentality and actually sweating it out would be osm. Another thing to look forward to is taking up a dance class! Been considering pole dancing for a while now... hmm.. One major improvement I would like to be able to kickstart in 2014 and end it the day I die (hopefully not soon *touchwood*) is to be financially independent. Working and studying full time is a b*tch. Not to mention the stress that comes with it... but! I know I can manage it if I plan, double plan and save. Try saving every RM5 note that you have or receive! (works wonders for me and my friends ^^)
I'm still in search of finding myself and what I really want out of life and I hope, I have been preparing myself correctly to face the immense repsonsibility after I graduate. Meanwhile, I want to put being in a relationship alil more at the bottom of my list. If Mr Right comes along, that'd be great but no rush. I need to love myself before I can love others right? And I can't love myself if I don't know myself. So I guess building my character and outlining my life goals and ambitions is my priority for now!
Before I sign off, I wanna thank my friends and family for always being by my side listening to my nonsense and putting up with my childish behaviour. I know I can be difficult and cray cray at times, but really, thank you for still loving and caring for me. I might not show it, but I do appreciate it <3
And also, I'm sorry if I have ever offended or insulted any of you.
Everyone deserves another chance if it is to renew or better themselves.
Don't start a new year with a hateful heart;
Start by forgiving those who gave you wounds,
forgetting those who gave you blues,
and rejecting those useless baboons!
hahah x)
Have a wonderful and enjoyable new year :)
Cheers,
Rheabelle. Wu
xoxo
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